The me that I was destined to be came across time and sat down beside me. I was sitting at my diningroom table
typing out the sadness of my life as it was in my early teen years. I was Journaling about the lust I was feeling for my girlfriend Debbie who lived few houses down from mine.
I was in crisis mode resulting from the battle between my flesh and my Catholic upbringing. We had at that point a standing "date" to go to confession on Friday night. We would take a 20 minute walk to the Catholic church , St. NICHOLAS OF TOLENTINE, confess our sins, and walk back home.
All I wanted in those days was to kiss her. I wanted to have my first experience of lips to lips, tongue on tongue contact.
But I was full of sin consciousness in those days and fought my flesh in the name of purity. And me resisting that normal human desire was a true sacrifice to our Lord Jesus Christ.
. So as I'm typing away writing down my thoughts and feelings the me of my future suddenly appears and sits down on the chair next to me. I stopped typing and look at him.
"You really like her, don't you." Older me says.
'Yes, I do." I say. As I look at myself to be.
. "But you can't...right? Because it's sinful. "
. " Yes. " I say. But my desire..my body wants to so much. "
"Hurts. . doesn't it."
. "But it hurt Jesus when He died on the CROSS
and i want to be just like Him."
. "I know you do. " Older says. "You're a good Catholic boy". He rolls his eyes and smiles. It's a kind smile not one of mocking, but one of kindness and knowing. There is a look of peace and knowing in his face. And in the middle of
my conflict I feel a calm come over me. And I experience this knowing confidence that it will all be alright.
"You'll never kiss her. Not this one."
i suddenly feel a great sadness and dread start to come over me.
. "But..there will be Maureen and Mary and Denise and of course your wife..."
"Wait.. what.. , really,,,?" And suddenly I feel such a joy as the dread falls away.
"Yes. Really." Older me says.
"So fear not! You're going to be ok. " And with that he stands up and fades into the air.
But what he's said sticks with me...pressed unto my mind and heart. Because I know..I KNOW I am going to be even more than ok.
.
. "
All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Joseph Trance.
Published on e-Stories.org on 19.09.2024.
Meer uit deze categorie "Psychologie" (Short Stories in het Engels)
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