An Uncertain Weekend
Alan and I got to know to each other through the internet. After loads of e-mails the time had come to meet in the flesh eventually. We would be a perfect match although Alan had confessed he was still married. I was shocked. I got divorced some years ago so wasn't keen on a relationship with a married man at all. Life has taught me, you´d always come in second in a situation like this. Nevertheless, I agreed to spend a weekend on the island of Rügen with him – because I was head over heels in love.
Waiting in front of my house, counting minutes. "He won't come." There was an uncertain feeling he wouldn't pick me up. Another look at my watch. He already was 15 minutes late. Deeply disappointed I assembled my bags to go home. At this very moment a car stopped and Alan got out.
"I hardly didn't have the guts to come," he told me when I was sitting next to him in his car. I nodded.
“I thought so. It's because of your wife, isn't it?"
"Yes, but it is not what you think.” He hastened to add, “I feel like a real bastard. We are separated, you know that. But it´s just not fair on you. I don´t want to make use of you. I don’t want you to think that of me. I don't want to hurt you. Ever."
Now he had got me totally confused. He put the blame on himself for somehow cheating on me with his wife? What a strange logic that was. He really seemed to be different to all the other guys I'd met before.
“Leave it to me, I don’t feel short-changed,” I told him whilst patting his neck. "I love your tickling short hairs here."
The ice was broken. Alan's mood already brightened up. "So let's go to Rügen then." He picked a CD out of the side door, turning on the music. "It's a brand new album. Do you like Runrig?"
"No idea, never heard of them.”
"They are from Scotland, have been around for a while. A mixture of folk and rock. I am a huge fan and have got all their albums even though I haven't been to a concert yet. The album's name is The Stamping Ground. So amazing!"
I listened to the music intensely. The first song already pricked up my ears: Book of Golden Stories. A melancholic song telling about times long gone. Times of happy love but also hope.
But as long as I can see the morning
in miracles much more than I can say.
It's enough to keep me still believing
In drifting hearts so far away.
There were tears in my eyes. This music touched me deeply. Could I really trust this man? Would I be more than just a fleeting adventure for this man? Would he not ditch me and leave me to my memories? Oh, I wanted to believe in miracles, but could I dare? Could I really believe that his heart would find mine? I brushed off these thoughts, with the music still captivating me.
You took me through the pages,
good happiness is shared,
lost in the web of changes,
this could be the last dance,
waltzing in the wind,
till the Minstrel comes to save us.
How much I wished to waltz in the wind with him and dance through life. Save me! As if he was reading my mind he whispered, "If only you´d trust me, Angie. I think I´ve fallen for you."
"Me too, Alan. That makes it easier but also more difficult!"
Yes, as long as I can see the morning
and blossom comes to bud again in spring.
It's enough to keep me still believing
your memory is everything.
Something awakened inside me. Yes, I could believe all this! "It is true. Even if this was the only weekend for us, if we should never meet again, it would be all worth it because I love you."
Alan smiled at me. "We will have a wonderful weekend. And there´ll be many more to remember when we´re old and crinkly. That´s for sure. Because I'd love to spend the rest of my days with you!" He pointed to the back seat. "If you get tired, there are pillows and plaids. Rest your head on my lap. Trust me, believe in me and have a rest. I'll bring us safely to the sea." And indeed, I hadn´t slept much the night before. So I cuddled my head into the pillow on his lap.
"Just a minute, I definitely don't want to miss anything," I told him, soaking in the warmth and cosiness, listening to the band. All of a sudden the lyrics didn´t sound as melancholy as before but much more hopeful. “You know what,” I mumbled, “I think from now onI've found my favourite band and my favourite song, too."
This was 16 years ago. We spent a fantastic weekend together.
Alan had kept all his promises. By now we´ve been married for 13 years. Of course our wedding took place in Scotland, in Gretna Green. Runrig and their amazing music has been with us throughout the years. We also enjoyed a lot of concerts. "Our boys" have spoilt us with "our song" at almost every gig we visited. Book of Golden Stories will always have a special place in our hearts. Of course the song tells of times gone by, of wistful memories, but for us this song holds a promise. To be true to each other, to be honest and to respect each other and to never hurt one another.
In 2016 we attended Runrig's concert at Edinburgh Castle. This was such a special evening for us. Seeing our band performing in front of this castle was a dream come true. And we visited Gretna Green again. After all, once in a while one should renew the vow because having a partner who stands by you unconditionally should never be taken for granted!
Of course we´ll be going to Scotland for our silver wedding – and if there was a Runrig concert… that would be the icing on the cake…
© by Angie Pfeiffer
All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Angie Pfeiffer.
Published on e-Stories.org on 26.04.2018.